Trying to settle my unreasonable excitement down. It might relate to writing moment that make me feel free and relieved to unleash my illogical words not really to the entire world but it could be like opening my Pandora box and spreading all my contagious viruses to this white, innocent paper at least. Isn’t would be greatest thing that God or Big bang theory gave me? Maybe, I’m getting carried away and romanticizing only mundane, unimportant stuff.

Anyway, I promised myself to write everything even To-do- list, ordinary, everyday living. I admit that I’ve worked hard these days especially by concentrating on H’s books which are about idioms and phrasal verbs, but I guess that I can’t count on my words anymore.

On weekends, we were talking about creative procedure of our different works- they are totally different like cheese and chunk- there’s a huge discrepancy and a divided world between our works. I was trying to figure out my step by step journey of scribing a new short story, then I found that the most horrible phase is the moment of writing. I told him, to be honest, I do everything, any type of unrelated work to avoid and refuse the writing day. I’d love days of researching and exploring a wide variety of alternative aspect of the matter but the day od sorting out them in an innovative written, would be annoying. Because, you already knew that there would be a copious panic and dubious occasions in the middle of writing. Researchers carried out many studied base on one of the hazardous reasons of early death. These moments were one of the significant causes.

Joking apart, fear of achievement, fear of not accomplishing it very well, as you think fit, could make me numb to do anything but not writing the first draft.

He listened to me carefully like he’s all ears. After finishing my lecture about how to discovering naïve ideas, gluing them together by applicable exploration and eventually giving them chance to be alive in the world, he tried to apply some chapters and facets of my peregrination to his work which is masturbating to colorful codes.

We were empty and completely devastated before talking together. It helped us to get back to line, daydreaming the rest of the weekends about moving in Technology land that I’d named the second- jerusallam as the birth place of nowadays modern prophets.

But something happened to him today, so far, not so good because they emailed him to arrange an appointment talking about something and implicitly, it means No and rejected. It would be frustrating to him. I’m a little bit worried even there’s nothing obvious and certain but he explained me about their process.

These days, I buried myself to the Ottessa Moshfegh’s book with a lot of envious- green with envy- the book’s name is my year of rest and relaxing. It’s really remarkable particularly depicting the inert and inactive mood of the first narrator. I’m jealous that I’m not able to write something like that in English. It’s all about were born.

Not really. I’m not pretty sure about this fact. With pal friends recently were talking about American dreams and a certain enormous of opportunities. But, I’ve been disagreed because of a lot of happening I’ve seen in this huge country but sometimes, myself think like –what if- situations.

We have our dreams at hand. Why shouldn’t use it to go above, far away, somewhere is quite peaceful, full of serenity. To some, this power of mental illusion would become a Yale student. To others, something else. No matter how delusion there would, they are our freedom and incredible land to be our pure version of us without anybody’s judgments.

I gotta go. Kholio kortasar has been waiting for me since last night.

نوشتن دیدگاه